Healthy Friendships Add to Healthy Living
Friendship is voluntary, based on equality, non-obligatory can exist on a continuum of intimacy levels, and is truly a life-span phenomenon. This is a definition of friendship given by Jon F. Nussbaum. Let us consider this as our common framework to understand further on healthy friendships.
Components of Friendship:
Voluntary – You have chosen to invest in an empty box called friendship. You keep filling it with the elements that determine where you are headed in your friendship. Whether, sharing knowledge enriches it or the mutual love for gaming, or love for partying every weekend, your friendship is what you fill it with before you can get something from it.
Based on Equality – Social hierarchy has no place in friendship since it is a relationship by choice. Individuals in a friendship have an equal say in friendship.
Non-Obligatory – There are no specific roles assigned or prerequisites to becoming friends. The nonobligatory nature of a relationship helps build trust over a period of time based on the roles performed for the other person out of care and concern.
Existence on a continuum level of intimacy – There are varying degrees to which you can be friends with someone. You can be friends with your students, your colleague, your neighbour that you don’t often talk to, and someone you call your best friend. You might tell all your secrets to your best friend. You trust your neighbour for looking after your dog. You might hang around with your roommate but you would prefer living with them over your other friends.
Life-span phenomena – A friendship can be formed at any point in time. Litwak (1989) suggested three types of friendships “long-term friend”, “the intermediate friend”, “the short-term friend” for adult friendship in a “modern industrial society”.
Factors affecting components of friendship:
Components of friendship get affected by various factors. The following factors are based on Suzanne Degges-White’s (PhD) rules for healthy friendships:
Support, trust, and honest feedback
Attentive listening and thoughtful speaking
No judgement policy
No talking behind a friend’s back
Mutual respect and setting boundaries
Forgiveness and no shame in admitting mistakes
How healthy friendships can help you live healthily:
Reduce feelings of loneliness - The thought of having someone in life itself helps when one is alone. Not every friendship is capable of doing that.
Help regulate stress- Prolonged stress can be overwhelming, and you can notice mood symptoms of anxiety or depression. It can also affect immunity besides contributing to insomnia, digestive problems, heart problems, and so on. Research suggests that strong friendships can help reduce the chances of facing some types of stress in the first place.
Emotional support – Healthy friendships are comfortable and accommodating. There are no boundaries set in terms of being there during the emotional journey of one another. Patient listening and understanding can only be done by a friend who cares for the well-being of the friend, someone who sees the value in it.
Personal growth – Healthy friendships not only add value to your life but also help you pursue healthy habits and maintain them. They accept changes over the course of friendship easily and do not complain.
Sense of belonging – It is a basic need to feel a part of a community. Adding to this, one must feel cared for and have someone to care for as it adds a sense of purpose to one’s living.
Look through the components and factors to determine the type of your friendship.
Friendships are an integral part of one’s life and it is important to know whether or not your friendship adds to your life in terms of strength, support, and experience. It is always for you to understand your needs at any given point in life and move away from friendships that pull you down. As much as you need to keep up with good friends, it is inevitable to be a great friend yourself.
Friendship is the greatest romance of all times and you wouldn’t want it to meet the same fate as the greatest romances in the history of humanity, so keep them healthy. :D